Changing Negative Self Talk in 2020
Last week, out of the blue, I received a 30 day notice to vacate my house because my landlord wants to turn it into a school for her kids. (I'll save the lamenting for nursing a stiff bourbon when we can all get together at the end of this for some raucous laughter over situations we will hopefully find funny in the future, albeit not right now.)
We are moving into a much smaller place, so I have been on the scramble to sell all of the furniture and things that haven't made the cut to come with us. Last night, as I stood, very deflated, in my almost empty bedroom, I said to my Husband, "isn't it amazing how quickly something can be dismantled." He just smiled at me and said, "don't worry, we will 'mantle' it again."
And, I thought...how very interesting. We can dis-mantle something, but not mantle something (#DeepThoughtsAt2am). That made me conscious of another thought that has been tumbling around my mind...I've been telling myself I feel so de-flated, de-railed, and over-whelmed.
Isn't it curious that we never exuberantly exclaim, "I am so flated or railed right now!" And mean, I am SO on track and doing so great! We can easily default to being over-whelmed, and even under-whelmed, but we are never just whelmed...those versions of those words don't technically exist.
Did you know that the English language has roughly 300,000 words and the average American uses about 700 of them over and over? That is a LOT of room for vocabulary expansion (and expanded communication)!
Did you also know that only about 30,000 of those words are words that describe emotion? And, of those 30,000 words, only about 3,000 of them describe positive emotion? That means that only 1% of our words can be used to express positivity! And that is only IF we used ALL 300,000 words!
By this logic and this math, that means we could literally be igniting positive feelings in ourselves only 1% of the time.
I don't know about you, but I want to be feeling positively WAY more than 1% of of my time.
With everything that is going on in our worlds right now, I know there are certain words on relentless repeat all around us. Most of those words on relentless repeat right now are negative and have the power to ignite negative emotions. And, those words have woven their ways into our internal dialogues with ourselves. Our internal dialogues are CRUCIAL to how we are coping right now.
So, I just wanted to check in with you. Human to Human. How are you? Really, how ARE you? How are YOU?
It's been a lot so far. From different directions, with different expectations. We are playing all new games on all new fields and that is HARD. It's like stepping up to the plate with a baseball bat in hand for the first time in your life and being told "just hit the damn ball" and followed up with a "oh, and we need a home run!"
As we maneuver through the changes to our worlds, being conscious of what we are saying to ourselves is so powerful. I realized last night that if I keep telling myself I feel deflated, derailed, and overwhelmed, THAT is exactly HOW I will continue to feel.
But, if I can shift those words to: I feel empathetic and challenged, I can shift closer towards how I want to truly feel, which is compassionate and excited!
To cut through the noise, ring a re-set bell in our minds, and STAY MAGICAL regardless of the many curve balls 2020 has thrown us, I thought it would be fun to remind us all of a very powerful and magical word....
I know you couldn't get through the whole word without singing it at the end, could you?!
How Atrocious and Precocious would it be if we all started saying:
"Oh 2020, you're just so....
I certainly am not suggesting that any of us stick our heads in the sand, just merely providing a little avenue of respite for specifically heightened times.
Do yourself a favor and watch the scene in Mary Poppins where they sing this - it will make you smile for sure! I mean, why not? #SorryNotSorry #ItWillBeInYourHeadAllDay
Anyways, just wanted to drop into your head this morning and say hello and check in. If you have a word you'd like to share - either a negative one you just want to get rid of - or a positive one you want to give life to - just comment below! I'll take the negative one from you and give light to the positive one. Sometimes just saying something out loud extinguishes it's hold.
I hope you are all doing okay and reaching out if you could use some help and spreading joy and lightheartedness when you feel compelled.